Istanbul Carpet Seller

While inspecting a number of Persian carpets at an auction house recently a rather amusing incident experience a few years ago came to mind. While walking through the Grand Bazaar in Istanbul where every merchant seemed intent on selling me a carpet. It did not matter that I had said ten times already that I had no need of a carpet.This however did not interfere with the colourful sales pitch of stall holders.
Q.  "Where you from? "
Meaning Canada, Australia, USA, Germany and so on.He wants to establish your purchasing power and what your attitude towards carpets will be. Turks for some reason don't like the Dutch as they  are deemed to be too money conscious to buy carpets. European jokes do travel this far!
Q.  "Where you from?
 By this means he wishes to establish his concern for your welfare. He will always have a brother, cousin or best friend living there. This is to assure you that he is to be trusted as he is friendly towards your country and therefor 100% honest and will sell a  carpets to you at the very lowest price because he is your friends.
"If you buy carpet I can explain all you need to know about carpet so I no cheat". .
Q. "Where you stay."
This establishs your purchasing power and at what his opening price should be. It is best to keep in mind the name of some run down dump but it doesn't always work. If you are still not interested.

Q.  "Why you no buy, no obligation you my friend."

At this point the apple tea ceremony begins, there are no shortage  of tea boys on the streets of Istanbul and you hail them as you would a taxi. The drinking of tea has become a national past time since the fall of the Ottoman Empire and Turkey lost control of the Arabian coffee trade resulting in  price of coffee being prohibitive.
"I will tell you all about carpet because you my friend?"
No matter how many times you explain that you have no need of a carpet he will respond .
"I understand , but when you know all about carpet you will want to buy."
After a further hour of dialogue and more apple tea he will say.
"You no use carpet in Australia I make half price."
This  price  is generally somewhat near the correct price if you are lucky you tell him you may look up his brother on your return home .  He may not like this and offer even a better price .What ever the out come you have filled in an amusing hour ,apple tea anyone.